A culmination of events has led me to thought. First, Sunday is national coming out day. There is also the National Equality march on Sunday which I will be attending. Plus, I've just had lots of conversations with friends that have brought me to examine my stance. I associate with people of all different types and there seem to be two segments of the gay community. There is the group that are very active politically and try to get everyone else to be as well. Then, there are the people who believe that it should be a non-issue and therefore do not want to make it an issue and bringing it up politically differentiates the community even more than "they" do.
But.. after some thought I have come to this.
It is not an issue who I decide to date/sleep with/commit to. The issue is that I, and the rest of the community, am discriminated against because of it. The issue is not with us. The issue is with those who have built the discrimination into the system and who continue to uphold it. If we do not speak our mind, they will never quit. If we don't make it known that we outraged, then things will never change.
Do I want it to be a non-issue? Absolutely.
But I don't believe the way to that is to sit back and try to prove that we are good people by becoming successful and keeping our sexuality out of it. It is unfair the way we are treated, and while I understand and respect the opinions of others, things will not change if we do not initiate change. Will there be backlash? Of course. Any time a discriminated group stands up and says, "you know what, fuck this, I am just as good as you" there is backlash. I won't say this issue is exactly like the civil rights movement of the 60's, or the earlier women's rights movements, but the general idea of what went on is exactly the same. Just like I was born a woman, just like my friends were born with dark skin, some of us were also born gay. As our country has decided that indeed, women should have the right to vote and own property, and that an African American man is worth the same as a white man, it is time that we as a country own the fact that a consenting loving couple should have the same rights as any other consenting loving couple. I totally understand that we have not reached real equality as far as gender and race go, but you can't deny the improvement.
I think it is vital that we as a community are open with ourselves and with others if we are to make any progress. Now, I am not saying that everyone should all of a sudden be out and proud and wearing rainbow flags all the time. But rather we as a community need to continue to work through the guilt and shame that has been put on us. We need to help each other and not judge each other for where they are on their journey. If we continue to defeat ourselves from within we will not move. We need our society to move.
