Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Stretching my mind

I've started to share with my family, the fact that my partner is transitioning. This is one of the things he has challenged me to do. He has challenged me to stand up for what makes me happy, even under the intimidation of my parents. My mom didn't say anything. She said it stretches her mind. I suppose in a way, it has stretched mine as well.
It has stretched me out of a narrow sexuality label. It has stretched me to realize that I could be attracted to and even maybe love a man. It has stretched me as I introduce my boyfriend to friends and acquaintances.
It all stretches me deeper. Deeper is beautiful. Deeper is both peaceful and frightening.
I'm scared that I'll get hurt again. I'm scared that I'll hurt him. I'm scared that he doesn't feel the way I do, and never will.
I'm in a holding pattern right now. With my life in a circle, hopefully allowing me to prepare myself for where I am going to go. I could see him in my life. He said he could see me as his wife one day. And I could see him as my partner (husband is a little too much for me at the moment). We're just starting our time together, and I hope I can quell my fear and enjoy the time we will have.

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